Totally Naked

The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame. Genesis 2:25

Integrity, total honesty, and humility are qualities often discussed in classes on marriage and family life. Most of us, however, would prefer to talk about them rather than serve as examples of them. It is often frightening to think about having our thoughts and motives exposed because we know they are rarely pure. While we might present a respectable patina, scratch the surface of most of us and you quickly discover underlying layers of selfishness, ambition, and pride. We’d be ashamed to be seen as we really are and so we become masters of disguise.

The picture of Adam and Eve presented in Genesis at this point is one of pristine purity. I suspect their nakedness extended far beyond the physical. Each could look into the eyes of the other and see only truth. No thoughts were hidden, no ideas masked, no motives disguised. And when they walked and talked with God in the cool of the evenings, their conversations were devoid of unspoken agendas. Because of this they could truly know—and be known.

Many of us long to have our husbands and children truly know and understand us, but we constantly cover up our feelings, refusing to be honest in return. We play the martyr, saying, “It doesn’t matter. I don’t really mind,” when things do matter and mind very much. Some of us act like confident believers while inside we’re riddled with doubts and fears. We go from day to day with smiles on our faces, smiles that hide the sadness in our hearts. We post perfectly posed photos on social media that rarely illustrate the imperfections present in our reality. Is it any wonder we often feel misunderstood and alone?

If we wish to be known, we need to become knowable. For some of us it will be as uncomfortable as being physically naked. We’re not used to showing other who we really are. For some, a good place to begin is at a couples or family retreat where professionals offer guidance into appropriate methods of communicating. For others, a quiet walk together in the evening can provide a comfortable context for sharing openly. Developing a habit of spending time together alone allows husbands and wives to establish a level of trust that removes the fear from being emotionally naked. Just like Adam and Eve in that perfect garden, we can stand before one another total honesty and feel no shame.

 I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame. Psalm 34:4-5

 Father, help me to develop honest relationships. Grant me wisdom to express the truth with love and to be willing to hear it as well. Amen.