A Life-Giving Mother

Adam named his wife Eve, because she would become the mother of all the living. Genesis 3:20

             The name Eve means “to live.” What an appropriate name for a mother. Certainly, a mother who carries a child in her womb for nine months can be said to give that child life in a very real sense. But a foster mother or an adoptive mother is just as live-giving as she pours herself into the child God has entrusted to her. All mothers should be in the business of giving life to their children.

            How do we do this? We care for them physically and thus help their bodies grow strong and healthy. We see to it that they eat well-balanced meals, bathe regularly, and have appropriate clothing for the weather they encounter. Emotionally we give them life by transmitting healthy attitudes, encouraging them to develop their personalities, and training them to restrain destructive behaviors. Spiritually we transmit life to our children when we teach them they are unique, valued, and redeemed by God; that God has a plan for their lives; and that they are His own dear children.

            But we cannot effectively transmit what we do not know and model ourselves. As tempting as it is at times to say, “Do as I say, not as I do!” what we do speaks much louder than what we say. Our children will imitate us whether we want them to or not.

            In order to be a life-giving mother, then, I just be careful to live a life-giving life. I cannot expect my children to take care of their bodies unless I first take care of my own. If I’m engaging in habits that are unhealthy, I can ask God to help me break them. If my conversation is filled with negativity and my attitude is one of constant complaint; if I constantly nag ad criticize my children, how can I hope to build them up emotionally? If I’m not sure what I believe, if I’ve never taken time for Bible study, prayer, or worship, I cannot hope to introduce my sons and daughters to God. It would be like introducing them to a stranger!

            It is exciting to realize the great privilege I have of giving life to my children as they grow. It is even more wonderful to recognize that God desires to be my partner in this enterprise. He promises to provide springs of living water, so I will hav a life-giving abundance to share. What a joy to be an Eve—a mother who gives life!

 Whoever believes in Me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him. John 7:38

 Father, I desire to be a source of life in my family. Please give me wisdom as I help my children to grow physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Thank You for Your promise to continually fill me with living water through Jesus Christ. Amen.

Don't Blame Me

Then the Lord God said to the woman, “What is this you have done?” The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.” Genesis 3:13

            “It isn’t like I lied, I just exaggerated a little on the claim form. After all, everyone knows the insurance companies collect millions in excess premiums!”

            “If these kids weren’t so difficult to deal with I wouldn’t lose my temper and yell so much!”

            “Sure I have some bad habits, but doesn’t everyone? Besides, I know a lot of people who are way worse than I am!”

            Do any of these excuses sound familiar? When we fail to control ourselves, when we do or say things we know we shouldn’t, or when we behave in ways that make us ashamed, most of us are quick to assign blame anywhere but on our own shoulders. In this way we are very much Eve’s daughters.

            As soon as we can find an excuse for our sin, we no longer feel so guilty. After all, if someone or something else is at fault, I can still feel pretty good about myself. And the need to feel better about myself as a mother can be overwhelming. There are so many expectations, and there is often so little time. We’re overworked, and under-rested, bombarded with constant needs and expectations. 

            The problem with blaming is that it not only justifies bad behavior, it also perpetuates it. How can I hope to change if I don’t even acknowledge I need to change? Looking at Eve, we recognize that her statement was basically true—the serpent did deceive her and she did eat. What she implies, however, is that the serpent’s deception was the cause of her disobedience. In fact, the cause of her disobedience was her decision to trust the serpent’s version of the truth instead of God’s and then to give in to the temptation to ignore God’s instruction. God has given each of us a free will to make the same kinds of choices today. 

            God instructs me to conduct business with honesty, to speak truth in love, to take good care of my body and mind. Because I am His child, I can follow His instructions or not. He has given me that choice. If I am to be the woman God intends, however, I need to stop blaming circumstances or other people when I fall short of God’s commands and then suffer the inevitable consequences of my poor choices. Taking responsibility for my own wrong choices is an important step on the way to maturity as a believer. And as the Holy Spirit works faith in me, I am able to confess my failures, knowing that Jesus promises to cleanse me and make me right with God again. He will never reject me. His unfailing love always helps and restores me. I am his beloved daughter.

 He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy. Proverbs 28:13

 Dear heavenly Father, help me to act and speak in accordance with Your will. Give me the courage to accept the responsibility for my own actions and to seek Your forgiveness for Jesus’ sake so I may mature as Your child and be a blessing to my family and friends. Amen.

Tempting Fruit

When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for good and pleasing to the eye and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. Genesis 3:6

            Things were going along perfectly well in the Garden of Eden until one day when the traveling serpent arrived. His sales pitch was clever and seductive. Instead of pointing out all the advantages and privileges available to eve, he focused immediately upon the one thing she lacked. His finely rehearsed speech began by planting some seeds of doubt. Then he watered the seeds with a lie and before long, the tendrils of dissatisfaction worked their way into Eve’s mind. The fruit of disobedience was ripe for picking before she even realized it.

            To some of us this seems just a quaint story from Sunday school. But for others, it’s a story that repeats itself in our own homes on a daily basis. We look around at our own personal “gardens” and don’t see the blessings there. Instead, we listen to the voices of the salespeople who sow seeds of doubt into our minds: “You’d be a lot happier if your husband looked like that hunk pictured in that post your friend just put up.” “Call or text now to get this genuine imitation diamond pendant. It’s only available for 20 more minutes at this price!” “You deserve a better house, newer car, or trip to Hawaii—and we can loan you the money to get it!”

             Before long, dissatisfaction sets in and we, like Eve, begin to concentrate on the salesperson’s goods instead of God’s provision. We just know we would be more fulfilled if we were in a different relationship, had more stuff, or were able to purchase additional luxuries. And when that belief takes hold, the behavior of disobedience isn’t far behind. 

            The world if filled with temptations offered by seductive salespeople whose interest is not our fulfillment, but their own. On that count, things haven’t changed much from the days of Adam and Eve. Like Eve, we have an opportunity to listen to and obey God or believe the words of deceivers. It may not be easy to shut our ears to the constant barrage of voices in print or online telling us what we need. Doing so, however, will help us hear the still small voice of our Father who promises to provide for all our needs beyond what we could think or ask. As women, we have a powerful influence in our families. The choice is ours. Like Eve, we can share our stolen fruit with those closes to us, spreading our discontent, or, by the Spirit’s power, we can give thanks and praise to God by finding contentment in and gratitude for what His love has provided.           

I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through Him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:12-13

Dear Lord, When other voices try to distract me, let me lean on Your strength to remain faithful to You. Thank You for providing all I need. Give me eyes to see the blessings You have given me and ears to hear Your voice. Amen.

Totally Naked

The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame. Genesis 2:25

Integrity, total honesty, and humility are qualities often discussed in classes on marriage and family life. Most of us, however, would prefer to talk about them rather than serve as examples of them. It is often frightening to think about having our thoughts and motives exposed because we know they are rarely pure. While we might present a respectable patina, scratch the surface of most of us and you quickly discover underlying layers of selfishness, ambition, and pride. We’d be ashamed to be seen as we really are and so we become masters of disguise.

The picture of Adam and Eve presented in Genesis at this point is one of pristine purity. I suspect their nakedness extended far beyond the physical. Each could look into the eyes of the other and see only truth. No thoughts were hidden, no ideas masked, no motives disguised. And when they walked and talked with God in the cool of the evenings, their conversations were devoid of unspoken agendas. Because of this they could truly know—and be known.

Many of us long to have our husbands and children truly know and understand us, but we constantly cover up our feelings, refusing to be honest in return. We play the martyr, saying, “It doesn’t matter. I don’t really mind,” when things do matter and mind very much. Some of us act like confident believers while inside we’re riddled with doubts and fears. We go from day to day with smiles on our faces, smiles that hide the sadness in our hearts. We post perfectly posed photos on social media that rarely illustrate the imperfections present in our reality. Is it any wonder we often feel misunderstood and alone?

If we wish to be known, we need to become knowable. For some of us it will be as uncomfortable as being physically naked. We’re not used to showing other who we really are. For some, a good place to begin is at a couples or family retreat where professionals offer guidance into appropriate methods of communicating. For others, a quiet walk together in the evening can provide a comfortable context for sharing openly. Developing a habit of spending time together alone allows husbands and wives to establish a level of trust that removes the fear from being emotionally naked. Just like Adam and Eve in that perfect garden, we can stand before one another total honesty and feel no shame.

 I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame. Psalm 34:4-5

 Father, help me to develop honest relationships. Grant me wisdom to express the truth with love and to be willing to hear it as well. Amen.

Created to Fulfill a Need

So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field. But for Adam no suitable helper was found. Genesis 2:20

 Haven’t we all at times wondered, “Why am I here?” Everyone in the family might have a different answer if asked why Mom is around, but each person’s response would probably involve a service she provides. She’s here to cook, clean, and do the laundry. She picks me up from school and takes me to baseball (or soccer, or dance class, or piano lessons). She listens to my problems. She’s my friend. She provides an income. Sometimes it feels as if everyone owns a piece of us and we exist only to serve. Is this what God intended when He said woman was created to be a “suitable helper?”

 Looking back at the context of the Genesis passage, it’s apparent that during the creative process God paraded all living creatures before Adam. At the end of that display, Adam realized there was no one to complement himself. He was alone, unfulfilled, incomplete. Adam needed a helper. I don’t believe that helper was intended only to assist with the gardening or haul water from the river—several of the animals could have fulfilled those chores. No, he needed someone with whom he could communicate in thought and word. Someone to love and who would love him back. Created in the image of God, Adam possessed qualities the animals lacked, and none of them could meet his deepest needs. To be a helper under these circumstances is not to be subservient, but to be an essential partner—spiritually, physically, emotionally. It means my husband, and even my children, are incomplete without the special insights and gifts God gave me. I have the holy opportunity to bless my family as I submit to God’s plan of being a “suitable helper.” At times this may mean assisting in practical ways, but it also implies I have other things of value to contribute.

 As I pray, study God’s Word, and commune with Him, He shows me how I may best help my family. It may be in offering discipline, advice, or comfort to a child. Another time it might involve sharing an insight or opinion as my husband and I wrestle with a problem. It could mean learning a new skill in order to better equip myself to advance in my career or help address an issue in the home. Each day holds a variety of opportunities to expand the role of helper in the lives of those I love. Being a helper doesn’t imply a role of lesser importance or of secondary value. On the contrary, it means I have been uniquely created to fulfill a need that could be met by no one else!

 I lift up my eyes to the hills—where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. Psalm 121:1-2

Dear Jesus, please give me Your vision of my role in this family. Help me to be a suitable helper who appreciates and encourages the best in each of my family members as I reflect Your love in all I say and do. Amen.

Created By God

So God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. Genesis 1:27

Counselor, doctor, teacher, chef, taxi driver, police officer—who am I? A mother fills so many roles each day, Is it any wonder she wonders?

In the beginning, the very first mother may have had identity questions too. Perhaps that is why God takes the time to be very specific in the first chapter of Genesis. Three times in verse 27 the word “created” is used to define the origin of humankind. Created—not hatched, found, spontaneously generated, not evolved, nor accidentally discovered. By a conscious decision of God we each were created; you and I and every mother who ever lived.

What a wonderful truth to grasp at those moments when doubts about self-worth nibble at the edges of my confidence. On days when my family’s demands threaten to drown my identity, I take courage from the knowledge that I was personally created by God. Just like Eve, I bear the unmistakable stamp of my Maker. And because He made me, He knows me inside and out. I need not fear a loss of identity. I need only look into my heavenly Father’s face to truly know who I am.

Know that the Lord is God. It is He who made us, and we are His; we are His people, the sheep of His pasture. Psalm 100:3

Dear God, when I feel overwhelmed and under-appreciated, help me to remember that You made me by Your creative power and love. May I reflect Your image in attitudes, words, and actions today. Amen.