Reading Buddies
One of the true joys of being a Grammy is sharing the books I used to love with my grandchildren. Don’t get me wrong, there are lots of marvelous contemporary children’s books too. But sometimes I long for the familiar volumes I cherished as a child. Times have changed and I certainly didn’t have social media or Facebook Friends, but in the books of my childhood I discovered a lot about what it means to be a real life friend. Those things don’t change with time and are worthy, I think, of passing along.
Take those wonderful characters in A.A. Milne’s books: Piglet, Eeyore, Tigger, Winnie the Pooh and all the rest. They were faithful friends. They never ran out on one another if things were going badly. They never gossiped or berated one another for their poor choices. And even when they disagreed, they did it without being disagreeable. They talked things out. They accepted one another’s idiosyncrasies and weaknesses with encouragement and support—not frowning emojis. When Pooh, having consumed way too much honey during a visit with Rabbit, got stuck in the doorway on the way out, did all his friends lecture him on the evils of overindulgence? Did they shame him and then cart him off to a camp for obese bears? Of course not. They sat by his side and read stories to him for a whole week until he had thinned down enough to be yanked out. Faithful friends don’t applaud your pitfalls. They help you recover gracefully and then let you figure out the lesson yourself.
Friends care, too. Raggedy Ann would never say, “c’est la vie” if she knew a friend was feeling lost or depressed. Somewhere, deep in her candy heart, lived a sincere concern for even the least of the playroom population. The dented tin dog was just as precious as the priceless porcelain princess. Candy or not, Raggedy Ann had a heart for others. The cotton stuffing in her brain worked overtime, planning ways to improve the lot of her friends. She cared little that her painted smile might fade or that a seam in her striped stocking legs might part in the effort. Even when things appeared most desperate, her shoe button eyes never lost the shine of hope. Everyone needs a caring friend like that!
And what about the delightful and quirky creatures in Kenneth Grahame’s Wind in the Willows? Ratty was polite and willing to endure Mole’s clumsy efforts without drawing undue attention to the latter’s obvious lack of social graces. Acceptance is a lovely quality for a friend to have. Certainly we’ve all been in a position to need a bit of mercy when our savior-faire has slipped a bit. Rat and Mole and Badger and Toad also demonstrated an unswerving devotion to animal etiquette—something that is very helpful in human friendships too! Mole cites, for example, that it is completely improper to dwell on possible trouble ahead or to ever comment on the sudden disappearance of one’s friends at any moment, for any reason or no reason whatever! That kind of attention to propriety, it seems to me, could put a stop to all manner of mean-spirited online speculation and twitter! Friends certainly need not agree, but, according to the creatures down by the riverbank, they should always offer one another respect and acceptance.
But perhaps the best example is discovered between the covers of E.B. White’s classic, Charlotte’s Web. Here we find the epitome of true friendship between Wilbur, the simple, bumbling pig, and that great intellectual, Charlotte the spider. This relationship could have been doomed from the start were it not for Charlotte’s gracious choice to embrace a friend from another class and species. They were neighbors, and therefore friends. And there’s a lesson for us all. It didn’t matter to Charlotte that Wilbur could never return a favor in like kind. She was a giver, that spider. And with her final ounce of energy and her last centimeter of silk, she saved the life of her friend. That kind of sacrificial friendship doesn’t come quickly, and it isn’t cheap. It takes time and plain hard work to be a friend like Charlotte.
And that’s why I love reading these old books to the littles in our family. Filled with wisdom and life lessons, they encourage us not only to be a good friend, but also to be on the lookout for good friends: a Pooh to be faithful to us, a Raggedy Anne to care for us, a Ratty to accept us, and a Charlotte to rescue us!